Welcome to Life, Unfiltered!

So I have been considering getting back into blogging for some time now. My first inclination that it might be a good idea was that 9 out of 10 of my Facebook posts had a 'continue reading' link. Now I realize why I have had a hard time getting into Twitter and Instagram. Because I'm ONLY allowed 25 characters. If you know me at all, you know that this is not.near.enough. for even a partially complete thought in my world. Which might explain all of the 'You should start a BLOG!' comments from people. I feigned humility when secretly I thought, 'I always KNEW I was awesome, but now OTHERS are starting to clue in too! I SHOULD start a blog!' When in reality it's probably that they were sick of their news feed beign clogged up by my long-winded posts. Feel free NOT to comment and let me know the truth about this because the deed is done, I have STARTED A BLOG. If it's a dismal failure I'll know you all were lying. Thanks in advance.

So, come to find out, or come to remember actually, I have SEVERAL blogs! You might think to yourself, 'Wow. She obviously is so passionate or so knowledgable about a myriad of subjects that they couldn't all be contained in ONE BLOG' when in reality, it is simply that I....SQUIRREL! which is probably another indication that this will be a dismal failure. I doubt FOUR blogs will be any more successful than THREE blogs, but I digress. So, back in 2009 I started Blog #3 called Reality is Funnier with the following post. The post in itself is certainly still applicable (which is why I'm including it) but with this addendum. Real life CAN be funnier. It can also be sadder, more frightening, more beautiful, kinder, meaner, more chaotic and more organized, more ridiculous and more boring for sure...you get the point. In all ways, real life is more, period. And I have spent WAY too much of it pretending I'm someone I'm not. Insert filtered instagram picture here. I just did a search of bible verses on the subject of pretending to be someone you're not and this is what I found:

Matthew 23:27-"Woe to you Scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside they are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean."

You know I'm not a theology major but I think what Jesus was trying to say here was, "Be your dang self." I'm sure he had other issues with these dudes but from what I can tell what irritated him most was the fake awesomeness they were trying to portray. It's only when we are able to admit who we truly are that we realize our desire to be different, to be more. Without that realization, there is no room for Jesus in us. And I don't know about you but I'd much rather be filled with Jesus than with dead man's bones. For real.

Welcome to the REAL ME! (Post from 2009)

Tonight I had an epiphany. I stumbled across the question, "I WONDER what would happen if I just started BEING ME and enjoying it?" A world of possibility suddenly unfolded before my very eyes; I felt like Dennis the Menace witnessing the 'titan arum' blooming for a split second; but an intense and wonderfully liberating second it was!

Side bar: Did anyone know that the flower on Dennis the Menace, the titan aram actually means 'corpse flower' in English and the reason for that is that it's the color and smell of rotting flesh, meant to attract animals?! WEIRD.

Back to me. So, I realized that I've been coming up short lately; in happiness, in health, in accomplishment, in satisfaction on all accounts but it must be said that I've actually accomplished quite a bit this year. So, why the defeat and disappointment you ask? Well, I think I've got a bad case of the 'unrealistic virus'. It's eaten up my rationality, my sanity, my reality and in it's place, pretend ideas have creeped in and gotten way to comfortable. (Who knew my brain created Pinterest BEFORE there was Pinterest.) Like the idea that I should be skinnier, or funnier, or have better skin or whiter teeth or cook gourmet meals, or be able to master yoga positions that by law should require two spotters, or be friendly to everyone, or run 13.1 miles without stopping or have a clean house all of time time or be everything to everyone or journal everyday or NEVER DRINK A SODA! These unrealistic ideas of who I should be are slowly killing me and what's worse is that they are unattainable because they are pretend.

So, my new thing is to BE ME, EVERYDAY, in EVERY WAY in all my irritating and anxiety ridden, nail biting, gas-passing, wogging, psychotic, cry-baby glory. To be HAPPY with that me, not because it's a perfect me, but because it's the REAL ME.

So, stay tuned for real snap shots of the real me living my real life.