A rib is worth a Thousand Words.

 “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him. I will protect him because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble. I will rescue him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” Psalms 91:14-16

If you have ever made your man cry (and I KNOW all of you have because there is NO WAY I am the only mean and spiteful, heartless, self-centered wench out there), you will probably agree with me that it’s the most awful, heart wrenching, make you sick to your stomach, promise to never do it again, shocking and debilitating experience ever. Worse than a root canal. Worse than a fight with your mom. Worse than that time your bestie ditched a cry fest/FRIENDS marathon/ben and jerry binge with you to hang out with someone way more fun and upbeat. Worse than getting through the thirty minute long Wal-mart line with everything you could possibly need for the next ten months and realizing you left your wallet at home. Worse than the first time your child ever said ‘I hate you’ or you stepped on the scale and it said ‘I hate you’ or during that performance review with your boss, when they might as well have said ‘I hate you’. You get it. Worse than the worst, ok?

And after you get over the initial paper bag on an airplane I can’t believe I just did that vomit in your mouth moment, the shock and bewilderment sets in and you realize, THEY DO HAVE HEARTS AFTERALL. Even if they don’t communicate like you and they don’t cry at every Hallmark commercial that comes down the pike and they don’t need to tell you EVERY SINGLE MILLISECOND how much they love you and they prefer high fives over long emotional hugs and a good quickie over lots of movie-esque making out, they DO have a heart and shock of all shockers, it’s actually 25% BIGGER than yours.  

I was at a Christian wedding a few years ago and par for the course, the officiant pastor talked about how God designed woman; not from man’s head to lord over him or his foot to be beneath him but from his rib, to walk alongside him as a partner in life. And usually the analogy ends there and everyone smiles and moves on to the rings and the kiss and the cake, but this time it was different. This time, the pastor went on to talk about the significance of the rib.

The rib. Strategically placed as a protective covering over one’s vital organs, namely, the heart; to keep safe from harm or injury. Huh. Interesting. You mean we, as women, as wives, might actually have been given a worthy and honorable position that comes with great responsibility rather than just being simply ‘made from man and for man’? You mean there’s more to this whole ‘wife’ thing than dishes and laundry and kids and food and sex? You mean instead of spending my energy and time fighting for equal rights and equal pay and equal say and equal everything in order to prove that I am equipped, able and important when standing next to my man, there is something I can do for him that he can’t do for himself?

As I was reading up on ribs I learned that we humans have 24 ribs; 12 pairs. And in the world of anatomy and physiology these ribs are designated into three groups; true ribs, false ribs and floating ribs. I thought this was so poignant considering. True ribs are actually directly connected to the sternum (the steel like plate behind which the heart hides). False ribs are connected to cartilage that is also connected to the sternum (think nose and ear like material; not particularly fragile but not stone cold steel by any means) and the floating ribs aren’t connected to anything which is why they are so easily moved. In fact some people don’t even have them; that’s how worthless they are. And of course, I couldn’t help, but ask myself………

“Whit……what kind of rib are you?”

Are you the floating kind? So far removed and disconnected from the heart that you might as well not even be there? Floating around, now you see me, now you don’t, it’s not really my job to protect your heart kind of attitude? Would the heart even miss you if you didn’t even exist? Would it feel a loss? Would it feel vulnerable, unsafe and exposed or would it just keep plugging along, one beat at a time, not even cognizant of the absence of your protection? Or maybe the false rib. Definitely there, definitely connected, definitely aware of the importance of your position but not really committed when it comes down to the nitty gritty. Are you easy to cut away under pressure or when a problem or painful situation arises? Out of self-preservation would you rather abandon ship, plead the 5^th, detach and walk away from your job to protect the heart? When the goin’ gets tough do you get goin’, even if only emotionally?

Or are you TRUE? Are you so deeply committed and connected to your job of protecting the heart that to tear you away would literally splinter and destroy you? Would someone have to cross over your ‘dead body’ in order to access the precious heart you protect? Come hell or high water, thick and thin, better or worse, for richer or poorer in sickness and health did you come to love, cherish, have and hold until death did part you and your heart?   

Only you can answer this question. God forbid your husband answers for you because I fear, if we’re really being honest here ladies, we probably have a little work to do. Let’s face it, we all know what major damage we can do in about 3.2 seconds to these hearts whose care and protection has been entrusted to us and if we’re REALLY being honest, we probably HAVE, more times than we care to admit.

The other day Andis said to me, “It’s really important to me when you are THERE. Just there. Even if you don’t do or say anything, just having you next to me gives me strength.”

 A heart is made to be a heart. A heart can’t BE a heart and PROTECT a heart at the same time so I might suggest that in between this life we’re building for our family; with work and laundry and dinner and soccer practice, we stop and take a second to think about how and why we were created and what a glorious honor it really is.

 “A wise woman builds up her household, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1