LEAKS. Lots and lots of leaks is what we woke up to this morning at 3something am. In the closet, and the bedroom and the other bedroom and possibly the kitchen by the time we get home this afternoon. I can handle a lot of irritating things but leaks are not something I'm good at dealing with. Andis would definitely agree with that statement as he is most often on the receiving end of my 'not good at dealing with something', and unfortunately it came sooner than later this morning. Like the torrential downpour, thunder and lightning that raged around us OUTSIDE of 606 Main, my inability to get a grip on myself and all of the fear, worry, frustration and finger-pointing caused a raging storm of its own, INSIDE of 606 Main.
"If our house leaks, it will get on everything. It will ruin the ceiling and the walls and the floors and our clothes and our shoes and our bed and out pillows and our bedroom furniture that we just financed and then it will SPREAD! Like gangrene to other parts of our house and it will ruin our fridge and our countertops and our stove and our cabinets and our pots and pans then I will have NOTHING to bang around!" "If our house has leaks, it won't pass a health inspection and if we don't pass our health inspection we won't be able to get the kids as quickly or AT ALL and if we don't get the kids, our lives will be empty and lonely and empty and lonely; food will lose its taste, the sun will lose its warmth, everything will be black and white and my life might as well be OVER!" "And even if they DO let us take the kids with a leaky roof, the money and time we have to spend fixing the leaky roof will be taken away from the money and time that we had intended to spend getting their bedrooms and bathrooms ready and the family car that we need to haul them AROUND and the bedding and lamps and rugs and backpacks and clothes and pillows and shoes and furniture that they will need when they come to live with us and we'll NEVER get it all done and we'll NEVER be ready for them and THEN, our lives will be empty and lonely and empty and lonely; food will lose its taste, the sun will lose its warmth, everything will be black and white and my life might as well be OVER!"
Might we say that the propensity toward over-reaction has quite possibly imbedded itself in my genetic code?! Insert movie scene from Father of the Bride where George is consoling Bryan after he buys Annie a blender, and Annie loses it, HERE.
George: I thought maybe I should help smooth things over. So I took Bryan out for a drink. Thought we could have a talk, man-to-man. But as I sat there and listened to his side of the story... I realized this was a golden opportunity. If I ever wanted to get rid of Bryan MacKenzie, this was my chance.
Bryan: You know those banana shakes she likes to make, right? Well, that's why I thought she'd like a blender. I guess I can see her point. I mean, a blender does suggest a certain... reference to sexual politics, but... I swear, it never entered my consciousness at the time.
George: I believe you.
Bryan: You do? Would you tell Annie that for me, Dad?
George: This was where I was gonna lower the boom. But instead, I looked into his weepy eyes and found my self saying:
George: Sure, I'll tell her.
Bryan: Oh, good! 'Cause I know whatever you say she'll believe.
George: Not only was I not getting rid of the kid... I now found myself talking him into staying.
George: You know, Bryan, Annie's a very passionate person. And passionate people tend to overreact at time. Annie comes from a long line of major overreactors. Me. I can definitely lose it. My mother. A nut. My grandfather. Stories about him were legendary. The good news, however, is that this overreacting... tends to get proportionately less by generation. So, your kids could be NORMAL.
George: As if that wasn't enough, I went on.
George: But on the upside, with this passion... comes great spirit and individuality... which is probably one of the reasons you love Annie.
Bryan: That's what I love most about her.
George: That's when it hit me like a Mack truck. Annie was just like me, and Bryan was just like Nina. They were a perfect match.
I'm sure Andis was NOT thinking we were a 'perfect match' this morning as I was stomping around, banging pots and pans, pointing fingers and muttering disrespect and unkindness every chance I got. Indeed he was not. I am happy to say, however, that we got through BOTH storms; the rain let up, our house didn't crumble down around us and instead of calling into work and heading straight for the courthouse we actually ended the morning with 'i love you's', hugs and kisses. And as I listened to the radio on my way to work, this statement was shared:
"God's plan for your life cannot be thrown off course by the circumstances of your day."
Bullseye. Straight to the heart. How arrogant, prideful and hypocritical could I be? To claim to have faith enough that God can turn the ashes of our childlessness into the beauty of a perfectly patchworked family but who CAN'T knit that family together because of a leaky roof? Really? No. I mean REALLY?!
"Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, "Why couldn't we (do it)?" He replied, "Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you. If you have faith as small as this mustard seed, you could say to that mountain, 'Move from here to there.' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:19-20
So I'm done. I'm done sweating the small stuff. Leaky roof? Psshttt. I say BRING ON THE RAIN; it will just put us THAT much closer to the rainbow of love that's on its way. And that, is worth a MILLION leaks.
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